I'm watching the tail end of the highly entertaining Syracuse-Kansas game (unranked and 23rd respectively...what happened to those programs? Haven't they both competed for/won national championships recently?) and it's tough to concentrate on the game because HALF OF THE DAMN COURT IS COVERED IN ADS!
When the hell did this happen?
How is this allowed to go on?
On each half of the court there is an ad for the NABC, Sprint, and O'Reilly (which apparently is an auto parts store, who knew). On the baseline under the basket and along the sideline between the two benches there is a rotating ad spot for Midwest (still an airline? WHO KNEW!), 'The College Basketball Experience' (which I'd assume consists of failing out of classes, sneaking beer into the dorms, and having sex with coeds), ESPNU, Toyota, O'Reilly, Sprint, and Lamar (I don't know what that is, but hopefully it has something to do with Reading Rainbow). At halfcourt there is a huge graphic for Lamar and a smaller one for Sonic (the shitty fast food place, not the Hedgehog).
Listen, I'm all for free market economy but something just seems wrong with profiting off of all of this ad revenue (plus selling tickets, plus selling concessions, plus selling jerseys, plus TV revenue, portions or all of which I'd have to assume goes to the college), and having the kids get nothing for it.
Why can't these kids get paid? What's wrong with some sort of stipend? They are all adults, and can thus enter freely into business relationships. Why is there this lock down on giving them a cut of the profit that they are basically wholly responsible for generating? It's not going to affect recruiting because kids are still going to go to the bigger schools. It's not going to affect how hard the kids play because whatever a college could pay them is still a pittance compared to how much the NBA could pay them. Hell, even to be fair you could set a cap per player and have that cap tied into how much revenue the program generates, so nobody can play a spoiler and just buy up a ton of talent.
It seems like everyone is caught up in this horribly antiquated notion that college is some kind of sacred hollowed ground filled with adolescents that can only be spoken in hushed tones.
Fuck that.
Has nobody BEEN to college?
It's a damn business. Granted, it's the business of teaching people, but it's still a business. The people who are purchasing the product (knowledge) shouldn't be encumbered by the business to have their entire life run by them. It's a silly notion that holds no weight in today's moral climate.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wherefort are thou, Buckethead?
The new Guns N Roses album is horrible. Don't take my word for it, listen to it for yourself on their myspace page (and why a bunch of nearly 50 year old dudes need a myspace page is beyond me). Seriously, I waited 15 years for THIS shit? It sounds like a bad GNR cover band.
And seriously, what has Axl been doing for the last 15 years? It sure as shit hasn't been writing good music. It's not like he's running other companies or performing on other albums. Does he just sit in his house all day and watch sports?
And seriously, what has Axl been doing for the last 15 years? It sure as shit hasn't been writing good music. It's not like he's running other companies or performing on other albums. Does he just sit in his house all day and watch sports?
I thought Ozzy was clean?
Because if he is, why the fuck is he doing World of Warcraft ads? Does he need the money that badly? What is he spending it on? Capes? How much can a damn cape cost?
Reading: it's FUNdimental
Apparently I'm a big fan of reading things that I've already read/heard before. The last two books I've read have been Kevin Smith's My Boring Ass Life (which contain all of his blogs for a year, all of which I've read) and Artie Lang's Too Fat To Fish (which contain stories that I've already heard him say on the Stern show). Fun. I tried to read Men Without Balls, which is by the Kissing Suzy Kolber guy, but it's a little to dull.
Funny story, as I was typing that last sentence, I looked up to my muted TV and Suzy Kolber was doing a stand up. I guess Broadway Joe and I have different tastes.
I also bought a couple of graphic novels the last time I was at Boarders because I enjoyed comic books as a kid, so I figured I might as well give modern day ones a shot. I hope there's some sort of zombie-based theme in them, because I don't care how old you are, zombies are fucking awesome.
Funny story, as I was typing that last sentence, I looked up to my muted TV and Suzy Kolber was doing a stand up. I guess Broadway Joe and I have different tastes.
I also bought a couple of graphic novels the last time I was at Boarders because I enjoyed comic books as a kid, so I figured I might as well give modern day ones a shot. I hope there's some sort of zombie-based theme in them, because I don't care how old you are, zombies are fucking awesome.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Baseball/More blogging!
As part of trying to normalize my routine, I'm going to try to blog more often.
You know, more than once every 8 months.
The baseball playoffs are borderline unwatchable. It's not that the games aren't good (they aren't), or that the announcers are annoying (they are), it's that seemingly every ten minutes I'm subjected to a Frank TV ad.
I don't care. Frank Caliendo isn't funny. He was never funny. He wasn't funny as a stand up, he wasn't funny on Mad TV, and he isn't funny on Frank TV. It's not even a good premise. It's half an hour of him pretending to be other fat people while doing barely passable impressions of them. That is so wholly unoriginal and devoid of any creativity or talent that I can't imagine anyone intentionally watching it.
As a comparison, IMDB shows that Frank TV has made 22 episodes. That is more than Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Wonderland, Clone High, the Andy Dick Show, Clerks Uncensored, and as many as Studio 60.
You know, more than once every 8 months.
The baseball playoffs are borderline unwatchable. It's not that the games aren't good (they aren't), or that the announcers are annoying (they are), it's that seemingly every ten minutes I'm subjected to a Frank TV ad.
I don't care. Frank Caliendo isn't funny. He was never funny. He wasn't funny as a stand up, he wasn't funny on Mad TV, and he isn't funny on Frank TV. It's not even a good premise. It's half an hour of him pretending to be other fat people while doing barely passable impressions of them. That is so wholly unoriginal and devoid of any creativity or talent that I can't imagine anyone intentionally watching it.
As a comparison, IMDB shows that Frank TV has made 22 episodes. That is more than Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Wonderland, Clone High, the Andy Dick Show, Clerks Uncensored, and as many as Studio 60.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
TV is horrible/Is your attention span really under 2 minutes?
Something that I'm starting to see more and more on TV shows is the infuriating 'teaser' that shows are showing before every single commercial break. They are taking up 15 seconds every segment by showing us what they will be showing 4 minutes from now. Why? Are our attention spans really that short? Is there really a need to keep us interested in something that WE ARE ALREADY WATCHING?!?!? What the hell do they think is going to happen, people are going to change the channel in the middle of a show and start watching another show coming in cold in the middle of it? Do they think people are going to skip a segment and knit for 8 minutes?
The next time you are watching any reality or reality-based show, pay attention to what happens right before the commercial break. More often than not it will be some horrible tease that both takes up program time, and ruins and kind of suspense you might have had.
The next time you are watching any reality or reality-based show, pay attention to what happens right before the commercial break. More often than not it will be some horrible tease that both takes up program time, and ruins and kind of suspense you might have had.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
To Catch A Predator
I feel bad for those actors who have to stand in the doorway when the creepy pervs walk in. It's going to suck a couple of years from now when that Dateline money drys up and they go out to look for other acting jobs. How do you phrase 'Pretended to be 13 years old so old guys would walk into the house to get questioned by Chris Hanson'?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Yearly football rant
I like football. I'm an American male, aged 10-65, so that makes sense. I'm kind of the demographic. Football is one of those sports where even though I have a favorite team, I can pretty much turn on any game and be entertained. I like the 'all or nothing' mentality because both in the pros and in college every game is so important (because there are so few of them) that everyone tries super hard at all times. And I like touchdown celebrations. That being said, here are some thought that I have about football:
- College. Nobody cares. The titles are arbitrary and meaningless, and the stats are worthless since the players are going to be there for such a finite amount of time and play against such different opponents that it's tough to compare and contrast. I say they stop letting the teams decide their own schedule and regulate it. Then, have a 16 or 32 team playoff at the end of the season. The only argument against a playoff system is the bullshit "but the kids need to be in claaaaaaaaaaaaaaass" one, which is obviously stupid. College basketball finds a way to get kids to class and to playoff games, and the post-season in football is right around one of the longest breaks of the year.
- The Patriots are the greatest team of the year. Even if they lost in their first game of the playoffs, they would still be the best team this year. Going 16-0 is so much more important then winning a Super Bowl and it's not even close. For example, can you name the team that won the Super Bowl 7 years ago? Didn't think so. Can you name the last team to go undefeated? Right.
- Week 17 is pointless. I mean, what a snooze fest. Every single year it's the same scenario. Most of the games are between two teams who have no shot of making the playoffs or two teams who have secured their spot. These games are boring, although some of the games between two scrub teams are somewhat competitive because both teams are so so bad. Most of the other games are either between a team which has it's spot locked up and a team who is trying to get in, or a team who is trying to get in and a team who is out. The only time you get a good game is when there are two teams who both have a shot to get in, or a team who is in but needs another win to get home field/bye week and a team who is trying to get in. All other games are boring as the teams that are in rest most of their starters and the teams that are out are horrible and unexciting.
Football needs a new system to make sure that ever game is good (or at least has the potential to be good). I'd suggest having two 8-week halfs (with a week off between them, when you can hold the All Star Game), and dividing playoff spots based on success in either half.
I should obviously be the commissioner of football. Along with great ideas like the one above, I would propose that cheerleaders be banned from wearing pants, and more giant foam headed mascot fights. That you can bet on.
- If you are an commentator, nobody cares about you. I am so sick of watching a football game where people who are actually good at the sport are playing their hearts out, only to hear an annoying comment 10 times a game from some schmo who played backup QB for 5 years.
If your name isn't Aikman or Madden then NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. It's always some annoying bullshit like "Wow Favre took a nasty hit there. You know, when I was playing 15 years ago I took a nasty hit like that once and had to stay overnight in the hospital for observation. So I know how he feels." How is pointless drivel like that helping my enjoyment? First off, you can take most of the commentators and I couldn't tell you what team they have played for, and I've been watching football for 20 years. Secondly, even if I know who you are, I don't give a shit what you have to say. They never tell engrossing stories about drinking with 400 pound men or threesomes with football groupies, it's always some meaningless "I want to relate to the people on the field" stories. It's stupid and only serves to fill the 10 seconds between when a play ended and when they are going to read to me the huge graphic that pops up on the screen like I'm a small child.
- College. Nobody cares. The titles are arbitrary and meaningless, and the stats are worthless since the players are going to be there for such a finite amount of time and play against such different opponents that it's tough to compare and contrast. I say they stop letting the teams decide their own schedule and regulate it. Then, have a 16 or 32 team playoff at the end of the season. The only argument against a playoff system is the bullshit "but the kids need to be in claaaaaaaaaaaaaaass" one, which is obviously stupid. College basketball finds a way to get kids to class and to playoff games, and the post-season in football is right around one of the longest breaks of the year.
- The Patriots are the greatest team of the year. Even if they lost in their first game of the playoffs, they would still be the best team this year. Going 16-0 is so much more important then winning a Super Bowl and it's not even close. For example, can you name the team that won the Super Bowl 7 years ago? Didn't think so. Can you name the last team to go undefeated? Right.
- Week 17 is pointless. I mean, what a snooze fest. Every single year it's the same scenario. Most of the games are between two teams who have no shot of making the playoffs or two teams who have secured their spot. These games are boring, although some of the games between two scrub teams are somewhat competitive because both teams are so so bad. Most of the other games are either between a team which has it's spot locked up and a team who is trying to get in, or a team who is trying to get in and a team who is out. The only time you get a good game is when there are two teams who both have a shot to get in, or a team who is in but needs another win to get home field/bye week and a team who is trying to get in. All other games are boring as the teams that are in rest most of their starters and the teams that are out are horrible and unexciting.
Football needs a new system to make sure that ever game is good (or at least has the potential to be good). I'd suggest having two 8-week halfs (with a week off between them, when you can hold the All Star Game), and dividing playoff spots based on success in either half.
I should obviously be the commissioner of football. Along with great ideas like the one above, I would propose that cheerleaders be banned from wearing pants, and more giant foam headed mascot fights. That you can bet on.
- If you are an commentator, nobody cares about you. I am so sick of watching a football game where people who are actually good at the sport are playing their hearts out, only to hear an annoying comment 10 times a game from some schmo who played backup QB for 5 years.
If your name isn't Aikman or Madden then NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. It's always some annoying bullshit like "Wow Favre took a nasty hit there. You know, when I was playing 15 years ago I took a nasty hit like that once and had to stay overnight in the hospital for observation. So I know how he feels." How is pointless drivel like that helping my enjoyment? First off, you can take most of the commentators and I couldn't tell you what team they have played for, and I've been watching football for 20 years. Secondly, even if I know who you are, I don't give a shit what you have to say. They never tell engrossing stories about drinking with 400 pound men or threesomes with football groupies, it's always some meaningless "I want to relate to the people on the field" stories. It's stupid and only serves to fill the 10 seconds between when a play ended and when they are going to read to me the huge graphic that pops up on the screen like I'm a small child.
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