Something that I'm starting to see more and more on TV shows is the infuriating 'teaser' that shows are showing before every single commercial break. They are taking up 15 seconds every segment by showing us what they will be showing 4 minutes from now. Why? Are our attention spans really that short? Is there really a need to keep us interested in something that WE ARE ALREADY WATCHING?!?!? What the hell do they think is going to happen, people are going to change the channel in the middle of a show and start watching another show coming in cold in the middle of it? Do they think people are going to skip a segment and knit for 8 minutes?
The next time you are watching any reality or reality-based show, pay attention to what happens right before the commercial break. More often than not it will be some horrible tease that both takes up program time, and ruins and kind of suspense you might have had.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
To Catch A Predator
I feel bad for those actors who have to stand in the doorway when the creepy pervs walk in. It's going to suck a couple of years from now when that Dateline money drys up and they go out to look for other acting jobs. How do you phrase 'Pretended to be 13 years old so old guys would walk into the house to get questioned by Chris Hanson'?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Yearly football rant
I like football. I'm an American male, aged 10-65, so that makes sense. I'm kind of the demographic. Football is one of those sports where even though I have a favorite team, I can pretty much turn on any game and be entertained. I like the 'all or nothing' mentality because both in the pros and in college every game is so important (because there are so few of them) that everyone tries super hard at all times. And I like touchdown celebrations. That being said, here are some thought that I have about football:
- College. Nobody cares. The titles are arbitrary and meaningless, and the stats are worthless since the players are going to be there for such a finite amount of time and play against such different opponents that it's tough to compare and contrast. I say they stop letting the teams decide their own schedule and regulate it. Then, have a 16 or 32 team playoff at the end of the season. The only argument against a playoff system is the bullshit "but the kids need to be in claaaaaaaaaaaaaaass" one, which is obviously stupid. College basketball finds a way to get kids to class and to playoff games, and the post-season in football is right around one of the longest breaks of the year.
- The Patriots are the greatest team of the year. Even if they lost in their first game of the playoffs, they would still be the best team this year. Going 16-0 is so much more important then winning a Super Bowl and it's not even close. For example, can you name the team that won the Super Bowl 7 years ago? Didn't think so. Can you name the last team to go undefeated? Right.
- Week 17 is pointless. I mean, what a snooze fest. Every single year it's the same scenario. Most of the games are between two teams who have no shot of making the playoffs or two teams who have secured their spot. These games are boring, although some of the games between two scrub teams are somewhat competitive because both teams are so so bad. Most of the other games are either between a team which has it's spot locked up and a team who is trying to get in, or a team who is trying to get in and a team who is out. The only time you get a good game is when there are two teams who both have a shot to get in, or a team who is in but needs another win to get home field/bye week and a team who is trying to get in. All other games are boring as the teams that are in rest most of their starters and the teams that are out are horrible and unexciting.
Football needs a new system to make sure that ever game is good (or at least has the potential to be good). I'd suggest having two 8-week halfs (with a week off between them, when you can hold the All Star Game), and dividing playoff spots based on success in either half.
I should obviously be the commissioner of football. Along with great ideas like the one above, I would propose that cheerleaders be banned from wearing pants, and more giant foam headed mascot fights. That you can bet on.
- If you are an commentator, nobody cares about you. I am so sick of watching a football game where people who are actually good at the sport are playing their hearts out, only to hear an annoying comment 10 times a game from some schmo who played backup QB for 5 years.
If your name isn't Aikman or Madden then NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. It's always some annoying bullshit like "Wow Favre took a nasty hit there. You know, when I was playing 15 years ago I took a nasty hit like that once and had to stay overnight in the hospital for observation. So I know how he feels." How is pointless drivel like that helping my enjoyment? First off, you can take most of the commentators and I couldn't tell you what team they have played for, and I've been watching football for 20 years. Secondly, even if I know who you are, I don't give a shit what you have to say. They never tell engrossing stories about drinking with 400 pound men or threesomes with football groupies, it's always some meaningless "I want to relate to the people on the field" stories. It's stupid and only serves to fill the 10 seconds between when a play ended and when they are going to read to me the huge graphic that pops up on the screen like I'm a small child.
- College. Nobody cares. The titles are arbitrary and meaningless, and the stats are worthless since the players are going to be there for such a finite amount of time and play against such different opponents that it's tough to compare and contrast. I say they stop letting the teams decide their own schedule and regulate it. Then, have a 16 or 32 team playoff at the end of the season. The only argument against a playoff system is the bullshit "but the kids need to be in claaaaaaaaaaaaaaass" one, which is obviously stupid. College basketball finds a way to get kids to class and to playoff games, and the post-season in football is right around one of the longest breaks of the year.
- The Patriots are the greatest team of the year. Even if they lost in their first game of the playoffs, they would still be the best team this year. Going 16-0 is so much more important then winning a Super Bowl and it's not even close. For example, can you name the team that won the Super Bowl 7 years ago? Didn't think so. Can you name the last team to go undefeated? Right.
- Week 17 is pointless. I mean, what a snooze fest. Every single year it's the same scenario. Most of the games are between two teams who have no shot of making the playoffs or two teams who have secured their spot. These games are boring, although some of the games between two scrub teams are somewhat competitive because both teams are so so bad. Most of the other games are either between a team which has it's spot locked up and a team who is trying to get in, or a team who is trying to get in and a team who is out. The only time you get a good game is when there are two teams who both have a shot to get in, or a team who is in but needs another win to get home field/bye week and a team who is trying to get in. All other games are boring as the teams that are in rest most of their starters and the teams that are out are horrible and unexciting.
Football needs a new system to make sure that ever game is good (or at least has the potential to be good). I'd suggest having two 8-week halfs (with a week off between them, when you can hold the All Star Game), and dividing playoff spots based on success in either half.
I should obviously be the commissioner of football. Along with great ideas like the one above, I would propose that cheerleaders be banned from wearing pants, and more giant foam headed mascot fights. That you can bet on.
- If you are an commentator, nobody cares about you. I am so sick of watching a football game where people who are actually good at the sport are playing their hearts out, only to hear an annoying comment 10 times a game from some schmo who played backup QB for 5 years.
If your name isn't Aikman or Madden then NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. It's always some annoying bullshit like "Wow Favre took a nasty hit there. You know, when I was playing 15 years ago I took a nasty hit like that once and had to stay overnight in the hospital for observation. So I know how he feels." How is pointless drivel like that helping my enjoyment? First off, you can take most of the commentators and I couldn't tell you what team they have played for, and I've been watching football for 20 years. Secondly, even if I know who you are, I don't give a shit what you have to say. They never tell engrossing stories about drinking with 400 pound men or threesomes with football groupies, it's always some meaningless "I want to relate to the people on the field" stories. It's stupid and only serves to fill the 10 seconds between when a play ended and when they are going to read to me the huge graphic that pops up on the screen like I'm a small child.
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